Truthful Breakdown

I used to yearn for your body at 3 am,
cry out for your voice in the morning,
dream of your smiles every second,
but what happened to the rings on my fingers,
what happened to the diamonds of emotions,
reflecting back what I thought were perfect memories.

Now I sit alone, pounding my head,
what the hell happened to us, to me?
I never questioned anything between us,
I wanted only beauty and fun,
but when we finally came back together,
we were no longer the same.

Anxiety and depression rotted the bond away,
both were clinging by barely a thread,
it only took me to realize that we weren't working,
the thread went up in flames.

I can't help but utter these awful words,
I don't know if I can help you through yours,
I'm racking my brain against my own anxiety,
and I don't know if I can say I love you anymore,
if I don't even love myself anymore.