Beauty in the Breakdown

There's beauty in the breakdown -
the spiraling-out of the human
condition as outside influences push
the single-breath trigger of the thump thump
heartbeat born human psyche - the
human condition collapsing under the
weight of imposed faiths, morals &
virtues - blowing out the walls of cards
and scattering the foundation of salt & sand.

Then, only then, does the fat & skin
& blood of the human condition peel
and melt away - leaving the bones
and sinew of raw humanity - scurrying
and cautious - aware of our place in
everything - realizing trivialities as just
that - scattered seeds in the wind-blown
life - only to land amongst the thorns
of complicity & crowds.

There truly is beauty in the breakdown
-for without it, how would we ever
see who we truly are without the
facades of our conditions,
faiths and egos?

Retribution

There was no harvest last year -
I buried my Hope into your thorny soil-
When it was but young,
it's life you stole.

I vowed to trust -
oh no more -
Hope's death was slow
and my heart tore;

I let go and I swore-
never again burned
by your candle's
fiery aire.

You saw I was in pain -
you cackled and brought on more,
you begged for your return &
I believed even more,
you killed me,
I was no longer alright.

As you left into the night,
I was over come by fright,
fearing your return by midnight.

I rebuilt myself - the ash warrior,
with a heart of dread -
how I feared and cried,
when you would return &
steal my life and watch me die.

But the voice within cried -
no more, I say, no more,
my voice broken of all bonds -
no more, I cry, no more,
no longer afraid to be alive -
No More, No Fear, No More.

You walked back in the night,
expecting my shadow and I to
cry out in fright,
you weren't expecting me,
bathed in new light -
you disappeared then -
I finally won my fight.

Tattered and broken -
I rebuilt anew -
so in love with the stars,
no longer afraid of the night -
or of

you.

Phoenix Reborn

Terrified, you cried
and told us the news -
the lumps weren't imaginary boogie men
the nightmare was real.

Surgery, it seemed,
went by quickly.
They went in,
poked, prodded,
groped and mauled,
and cleaned you out -
no more lumps,
no more nightmares
no more being afraid.

Hours, days,
weeks went by -
time seemed to slow
as we lay in wait -
the tests, they said,
will come back as soon as they're
done -
we all know that
we aged with each day -
trying to hold it together,
facing a potential grim reality-
is it back? did it go away?
chemo? no chemo?
will she lose her mom?
will I lose my grandma?

Phoenix,
how you destroyed yourself so
violently,
only to be reborn
within the ashes of your
own death.

A call.
Hushed whispers.
Chaos around me,
life whizzing by,
passers pushing through,
you called.

After all that work,
after all that stress,
after all the worry and wait,
after the poking and prodding,
you called the game -
the home team won.

Survivor,
you outwitted,
outplayed,
outlasted
those veritable lumps
of nightmarish cancer-flesh -
no longer afraid of your shadow
or of the dark -

Phoenix reborn,
you stood up to the stars
and conquered the darkest night -
Phoenix Reborn,
it's time to summit
the sun

rise.