Stipulations of Religion

Sometimes it's the broken church,
the sad church,
the church with the smashed and missing
stained glass windows -

that is the better church,
the truer church,
the more godly church
for which your and my god(s) are meant
to be honored in -

sometimes it's the church that has broken pews,
has an attendance of barely three,
sometimes it's the church that has a
belfry barely held up by worn-weathered-wood -

it's not always the biggest church,
the shiniest church,
the church with a thousand parishioners,
the perfect church can be a clearing in the woods,
a bus-stop confessional,
under the over-pass bridge where the
young and broken and homeless
stay away from all of the pain that they feel each new day -

Don't always look for your god(s) in the shiny church,
don't always look for your spirituality in a
room with everyone that looks and prays like you,
don't always look for salvation from a faith built in a house of gold.

You'll find your god(s), your spirituality,
your salvation from within first,
if not there,
 then in the faces of those you won't dare look at.

Don't pray in a marble cathedral,
if you're afraid of praying in a
fallen wooden church first.

Breathing "I Love You"s...

I'm in the room where sleep should be had,
but instead pacing and cursing and
sadness is clinging to the walls,
putrid emotional wallpaper held on by tacks
of self-doubts and self-anger and self-denial -

I hear the words leaving my mouth, and I
watch as they float across the room,
hijackers of emotional terrorism
stealing and flying planes of feelings
into the pillars within your soul, the
light fading from your eyes as I see
the doubt fire from my lips to pierce your heart -

You're out of the room, having left to
do self-triage on the wound that bottled alcohol
and bottled anxiety and bottled depression caused,
You're out of the room where you felt a second emotion against
love from my lips, where you watched me fall apart,
where you saw my inner most bare beast and even then,
you let your fear go, and you held on as I tore through my
worst mistakes and fears like thin sheets in the wind,
you wouldn't let me go...
and I dared your heart to a competition,
to see if it knew what I really was like on the
inside, and you called my bluff -

You left the room, because even in my most un-sober moment,
I twirled further into the ball of doubt and anxiety
that I wound with each new breath,
and you left the room,
to take everything all said
and done and cried and lied about;
into context.
You don't care that I find myself some days
sinking ever deeper,
ever farther down into the insanity that
plagues my family -
you don't care about any of that.

You tell me that no matter how far I fall, how long I sink,
how deep I go into my own darkness that seems to never leave me -
you tell me that no matter what,
you'll never leave me,
that you will be there to catch me when I fall,
to pull me back up from the bottom of the drink,
to bring the light into my life with every touch
and laugh and brush of your lips on mine.
You see me at my worst, hold up a mirror, and say,

"See, even now, you're the most beautiful beast,
so don't let your tears stain your scars
and don't let your fears cloud the bright skies in your mind.
Let everything go, and let the warmth grow,
because with every breath you breathe,
you have to relearn to un-clench your fist,
and let your failures and fears go.
This won't be easy, and it won't be undemanding,
but with every breath in, you call out my name,
and with every breath out,

you breathe an 'I love you'."

I'm Right (Push, Pull)

Be thin, be fast,
be funny, be sexy,
be yourself, be like us,
be with a ton of sexual partners,
be with only one partner,
push, pull,
push, pull,

Have large muscles, be gangly,
be a jock, be a nerd,
it's ok to be gay,
get back in the closet you poof,
push, pull,
push, pull,
push, pull,

Died a hero, died a wreck,
Painted smile, honest sadness,
you'll never do anything wrong,
why can't you do anything right?
push, pull,
push, pull,
push, pull,

Enough is enough, I'm taking a stand,
Enough is enough, I'm going to lie down,
Enough is enough, who're you to tell me what to do,
Enough is enough, who right or wrong anymore,
Enough is enough, I'm through with the push and pull,
Enough is enough, maybe I'm wrong and they're right?
push, pull.

I hate Sudoku

There once was a man named Michael,
Who sucked so hard at Sudoku he cried till,

His headache was gone,

He got to move on,

And do something less painful.

Amor Vincit Omnia

Looking up,
a warm spring night,
a plaid blanket beneath
the two lovers beneath
the midnight black sky -

Little then,
they now know now,
what their lives
would be like -

Adventures across time
and across space,
across living room carpets
and bedroom candle-lit dates -

Little did they know,
the lovers two,
that when they made love,
a life began a-new -

Under the midnight black sky,
two lovers hold each other tight,
staring up at the red speck,
from the earth to Mars,
they soon realize that,
the sky-

it's full of stars...