Deep red rouge drawn on the horizon,
Stuck in time between moon-set and sunrise,
already questioning my lies, searching for why I'm alive.
Answers amongst the puckered blossoms waiting for
the kiss of morning mist,
Rebuttals by geese overhead following the
wrong star North.
Crickets chirping to a crescendo, branches and leaves
conducting the symphony of my life,
bats and bugs swarm and dive around the halogen lights -
I take another lap around the corpses of campus summer life.
No one else can be a champion of mine,
I survived the dusk of your leaving,
I'll survive till the arrival of your dawn.
5:30 confessions to a stone sculpture,
hates and loves,
fears and dreams,
things understood and things not as they seem -
Texts to Mom, texts to Dad,
funny photos to brother, to the girlfriend - fantasies I've had.
I'm here and they're there - someday soon we'll be together
in real life and not just over a screen.
Getting used to being alone, no longer green,
trying to say, "I fucking miss you!" without being obscene,
take another lap, of the school or my head,
watch the sunrise, realize why I'm alive,
better than the unfilled silence when I'm dead.
