Imperfect Love (by Felicia Quinn)

On the surface they seemed perfect.
A fair maiden with a heart of gold and a knight in shining armour.
Past their perfection, held their flaws.
A foul mouthed woman and a dented up knight from fighting past battles often fought alone.
She was brash, he more conservative.
Yet, they were together.
She fought his dragon and he slayed her demons.
The fault of one was another's saving grace.
Two imperfect people destined to be imperfect together.
To one another, they were simply perfect, flaws and all.

A Vow to My Companion

I deserve you as much as you deserve me.

We have gone through hell,
we have faced our own dragons.

We have grown since the first day we met
all those years ago -

We have seen the same sunrises,
the same sunsets from many miles apart.

We have held the hands of others
under the same moon and stars.

We have known what we thought was,
but latter realized to be false,
fulfilling love.

We have made it from stages
of walking,
running,
flying,
through our destinies,
only to come to this moment where our
separate journeys have become
entwined -

and here it is that I realized
that every past companion holds
no light, holds
no flame to that which
we have in ourselves for
each
other.

Stream of Conscious Anxiety

A shower lasting so long
tap turned to hot but water running cold
sitting under the stream
staring at the now lavender and lilac
scars on cream skin.

Kill for a smoke,
kill for no more anxiety,
kill for the depression to fuck off,
death for a second without not living,
nasty bit of bitter realization -
knowing that medication keeps me alive,
while wishing that medication wasn't needed
to keep me
alive.

Am I pulling away from family? From friends?
Are they pulling away from me?
Am I rebounding? Falling back? Spiraling out of
control?
Almost six weeks since going into a mental institution,
Just after six weeks since I

Cut my skin, caused red to gather,
liquid on top of white thigh skin,
staring at the cuts, the blade,
finding a second of peace,
finding a lifetime of questions in return,
finding I wanted to live so lets not cut any deeper,
finding I needed help, needed therapy, needed to
not be there,

Needed to be here.
Needing to be here, home.
Needing to be wanted by others, by friends, by family,
by myself.
Needed and needing
Wanted and wanting
Killed and killing
Craved and craving
Felt and feeling,

For others,
For me,
for me,
for
me.