Dream #36

The wood groaned underneath knee, a worn cushion gave way as I bowed my head. It was silent in the chapel; not cold and silent, but rather a warm embracing silence.

Make the sign of the cross. Up down left and right; just like you were taught way back when.

The candles on the altar were light, wax slowly dripping to the base, where the wax was beginning to overtake the candle. I couldn't help but watch the flames dance in its own way, coaxed further into its dance by the draft coming from upstairs.

"Hail Mary, full of grace.."

Listen to yourself. Do you believe what you're saying, or are you just going through the motions?

Barely a whisper at first, someone upstairs behind me began bringing the old organ awake again from its slumber. Airy, breathy even, but not shrill or booming; the organ sighed as it warmed the air with its dulcet tones. I turned, still reciting prayers from memory, to look up at the organ, but none was visible.

"..blessed are thou amongst women..."

Must be in the rectory. Or..a cd? No one else is in here but me, and the front door was unlocked. Ha, could be aliens..

"...holy Mary, mother of God.."

I turned back around to face the altar again and I noticed something peculiar. One of the candles had been replaced and was aflame, as if it had always been there and had always been lit. The organ began playing a melody of Davidic splendor, reaching higher and higher towards the 7th circle, grasping and pulling itself and me into the heavens.

"..pray for us sinners..."

I shut my eyes, the world spinning faster than I can hold on. I put my head on my clasped hands. The organ driving the chapel further and further in cosmic chaos, the candles drip drip dripping wax onto the base and the floor; their flames building in a dance of want and lust, pulling me between it and the organ.

Keep it together man, get a hold of yourself. You're starting to scare me, you, me.

"..at the hour of our death."

As I lifted the weight of my head from my hands, I wasn't in the chapel anymore. Or I was, but the chapel was just pews on grass, an altar in front and the continuous calling of the organ against the winds. This was...this was...a world of chaos and order, a world between flames and organs, a place of past and present and future, of here and before here and parallel here.

"..Amen."

I stand, and I'm in the chapel, sliding out from the pew and grasping the wooden end edge, genuflecting, making the sign of the cross.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch..

I turn away from the altar, moving with each step closer to the organ, no longer making a sound but rather a vibration that penetrates me, feeling it not on just the skin but in my bones, my mind, into the very essence of my soul. I dip my finger into the holy water, and cross myself. I am just in front of the front doors, reaching out and grasping the handle to leave this place of dual identities, hearing my heart beat match that of the organs vibration. I open the door, and breathe a sigh of relief.

Reality?